As many of you know, the past 5 years was a bit ‘challenging’ for us – to say the least.
In a nutshell… a very small nutshell… Our first daughter, Anika, was born in 2010 with undiagnosed Spina Bifida (a long story for another day, but to make a long story short she is a wheelchair user, she’s been to the operating theatre 20 times already and has a very long list of diagnosis and specialists – but she was Wonderfully and Fearfully made by a Great God of Wonders and we already saw sooo many miracles in her life and we trust the Lord for more). Our second daughter, Esti, was born in 2012 with a very bad heart condition (Hypoplastic Left-heart Syndrome) and only lived for 2 very special, precious days.
After all of this, me and my husband Tertius, went on a vacation to Greece, and during one of the beautiful sunsets, we sat on a broken down brick wall with a glass of white wine and decided that we will NEVER even try to fall pregnant again, we were too scared – we feared what MIGHT go wrong next time.
BUT God had other plans. He worked with us and in us and through other people, and a year ago, He made it very clear to us (through signs, prophecies, visions, scripture etc.) that we WILL have another baby – our own baby, not adopted – a son, with the name Reuben – and everything will be perfectly fine. All of this is also a very long story for another day – believe me we need a bigger nutshell!
One of the scriptures we got was Romans 8:14, and later we realised – bit by bit – that it was actually verse 14-16 – it comes down to: For he who is led by the Spirit of God is the SON OF GOD, for YOU DID NOT RECEIVE THE SPIRIT OF SLAVERY LEADING AGAIN TO FEAR, but you received the Spirit of adoption, by whom we cry, “Abba, Father”. The Spirit himself bears witness to our spirit that we are God’s children.
The song “I’m no longer a slave to fear, I am a child of God” became one of my favourite songs (httpss://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8TkUMJtK5k).
I’m pregnant with our son now, and I can honestly say – with a week left before we meet him – that I’m no longer a slave to fear. And with the grace of God, as a couple, WE are also no longer slaves to fear.
I am very emotional at this stage, but mostly because of the memories of Esti, all the preparations reminds me of her birth and losing her, but I don’t fear for a moment that something will go wrong with Reuben.
I am so grateful for that.
I’m set free, I’m excited, I’m a child of God and I’m not a slave to fear anymore!!